It is the first day of the tenth month of the eleventh year in the twenty-first century!
All of a sudden I feel a tinge of positive emotion to write even at this hour as I would have usually turned in at this time. This must be the after effect of reading one of my favourite blogs - The Personal Excellence Blog by Celestine Chua. It was the blog that I first read while I was in my third year of degree study. It brings back a certain amount of joy, pride and freedom. These because those were the days where I was just a student whose responsibility is to study and earn good grades, which I usually did and often met my own expectation. Sandwiched among these positive emotions are, admittedly, a sense of insecurity and fear that I carry with myself. These because those were the days where lecture rooms look like a competitive ground for me where everyone are expected to strive to be better and better. A sudden drop in performance will somehow bring a slap in my face that I was just not good enough. But that was because I was just trying to get validation from others, I thought.
Then came Celestine Chua, the writer behind the blog whose passion to help others lead a life of excellence make me feel so in awe. It was at this time where I started to meditate after reading one of her posts on the benefits of meditation. After being in the workforce for more than a year, I find myself getting a little disintegrated and naturally, departing from what my ideal self is like. More and more, I feel like I am not who I was and not heading towards my best self. By this I mean along with the change that I have gone through, I had at the same time evolve into a different person, not one I aspire to but more to one where society expects to see. Not that I'm lamenting that society's views are distorting and not representative of the best that everyone can live up to (even though sometimes they can be), but I'm just expressing the thought that one should never look outward for who we want to be, but rather inward.
For this I want to revisit my old habit of meditating, which I have put on halt for more than a year. To bring about a calmer, grounded, loving, peaceful me with much clarity in thoughts.
And to eventually get connected to my true and best self!!!
All of a sudden I feel a tinge of positive emotion to write even at this hour as I would have usually turned in at this time. This must be the after effect of reading one of my favourite blogs - The Personal Excellence Blog by Celestine Chua. It was the blog that I first read while I was in my third year of degree study. It brings back a certain amount of joy, pride and freedom. These because those were the days where I was just a student whose responsibility is to study and earn good grades, which I usually did and often met my own expectation. Sandwiched among these positive emotions are, admittedly, a sense of insecurity and fear that I carry with myself. These because those were the days where lecture rooms look like a competitive ground for me where everyone are expected to strive to be better and better. A sudden drop in performance will somehow bring a slap in my face that I was just not good enough. But that was because I was just trying to get validation from others, I thought.
Then came Celestine Chua, the writer behind the blog whose passion to help others lead a life of excellence make me feel so in awe. It was at this time where I started to meditate after reading one of her posts on the benefits of meditation. After being in the workforce for more than a year, I find myself getting a little disintegrated and naturally, departing from what my ideal self is like. More and more, I feel like I am not who I was and not heading towards my best self. By this I mean along with the change that I have gone through, I had at the same time evolve into a different person, not one I aspire to but more to one where society expects to see. Not that I'm lamenting that society's views are distorting and not representative of the best that everyone can live up to (even though sometimes they can be), but I'm just expressing the thought that one should never look outward for who we want to be, but rather inward.
For this I want to revisit my old habit of meditating, which I have put on halt for more than a year. To bring about a calmer, grounded, loving, peaceful me with much clarity in thoughts.
And to eventually get connected to my true and best self!!!
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