Joy

This week I seem to get a little nostalgic.

I attributed such in part to the music that I listened to and in part to my good memory of past events, things and people. More so to those whom I care about a lot. Such memories are etched deeply in my mind.

A few days ago, I played a CD which I bought back when I was in my senior high school days. My subconscious mind unlocked many of the memories which I can still remember vividly. These were particularly from those days when I was in Form 5 - of the hard work I put in my academic work and of the joy of knowing that I had forged genuine friendship - ahh, pure bliss!

Consequently, I tend to cherish familial bond and friendship even more now. Knowing very well that these are what truly matter to our heart, despite our occassional relentless pursuit of other things which bring temporary satisfaction.

To all events in the past - I give thanks because you help me grow more as a person.

To all people which I have had a connection - I care for you even though we are distance apart or we have not talked to each other for quite some time.

GE session

Tomorrow morning I will be heading for a session on insurance at Great Eastern Mall. A session to attract people into the insurance-selling business, even though I was informed that that will be a session where one will be introduced to the insurance industry and GE position in the industry. A lot of things in life are well packaged, more so in business!

I am not particularly enthusiastic about the upcoming affair. But I do look forward to understand more about the insurance industry. At the same time to have a good gauge whether I want to jump on the bandwagon of insurance selling; if so, will it be GE; if so, will it be with the center and the people that I am going work with.

I'm especially picky about this. For I know any forms of partnership that seek to last for the long term need to be established on the grouund of mutual respect coupled with a sense of maturity and rationality in all dealings between each party. As much as profit and potential monetary reward ($) are foremost, I will without an iota of hesitance proceed to cast aside anything else if this is not met in the first place.

Let's see how it goes!

Taking it upon myself

As I drove back from work a while ago, something hit me in my mind and made me feel all the more resonated. Sometimes people used to tell you certains things, dispense certain advice, share certain experience; but it is not until time when circumstance is right that we begin to truly understand its meaning. And that's when we are resonated. Epiphany.

Epiphany I had was that I take it upon myself all results that ensue. For this, it means that I'm proactively carrying responsibility for the results that I want and need not be nudged unnecessarily by other people.

As I blog about this, I can't help but to write about something that started to bother me a couple of days ago. I would like to think that this probably comes about as a result of having the said epiphany.

I am actually at the crossroad.

Ironically, I am already close to a year in the workforce. Presumably, crossroad is a word that should occupies much of a fresh graduate's thought all the time. Foremost in their mind is the decision as to which job to choose. That is certainly not my case of course.

I was actually presented with an opportunity! No, I am not at the crossroad. For me, if I am at the crossroad, the decision ahead would be something that is related to the path that I have crossed. All other things will be considered bridges that sidetrack me towards a mountain I don't want to climb, a sea I don't want to swim in.

Correction: I am actually beside a bridge on the path that I walk.

The moment a decision is made that is when the destiny is shaped, so say Anthony Robbin. And indeed it is true.

I take it upon myself for every decision that I make. For this I need to be aware of the bridges that mislead me down the path that I do not want to walk. To continuously stay true to my heart what I want and at the same time not be lurued by the many million distractions out there. Integrity.

New habit

It is the first day of the tenth month of the eleventh year in the twenty-first century!

All of a sudden I feel a tinge of positive emotion to write even at this hour as I would have usually turned in at this time. This must be the after effect of reading one of my favourite blogs - The Personal Excellence Blog by Celestine Chua. It was the blog that I first read while I was in my third year of degree study. It brings back a certain amount of joy, pride and freedom. These because those were the days where I was just a student whose responsibility is to study and earn good grades, which I usually did and often met my own expectation. Sandwiched among these positive emotions are, admittedly, a sense of insecurity and fear that I carry with myself. These because those were the days where lecture rooms look like a competitive ground for me where everyone are expected to strive to be better and better. A sudden drop in performance will somehow bring a slap in my face that I was just not good enough. But that was because I was just trying to get validation from others, I thought.

Then came Celestine Chua, the writer behind the blog whose passion to help others lead a life of excellence make me feel so in awe. It was at this time where I started to meditate after reading one of her posts on the benefits of meditation. After being in the workforce for more than a year, I find myself getting a little disintegrated and naturally, departing from what my ideal self is like. More and more, I feel like I am not who I was and not heading towards my best self. By this I mean along with the change that I have gone through, I had at the same time evolve into a different person, not one I aspire to but more to one where society expects to see. Not that I'm lamenting that society's views are distorting and not representative of the best that everyone can live up to (even though sometimes they can be), but I'm just expressing the thought that one should never look outward for who we want to be, but rather inward.

For this I want to revisit my old habit of meditating, which I have put on halt for more than a year. To bring about a calmer, grounded, loving, peaceful me with much clarity in thoughts.

And to eventually get connected to my true and best self!!!