This evening was spent much on reading. I felt obligated to read, because I bought these books and magazines in the first place for my own reading pleasure and personal development. Somehow, I thought I was trying to escape from an issue that has bothered me for quite some time. I have previously buried it in my subconscious mind. Alas, it was resuscitated again today.
After my half-day work today, I was due for a meet-up with a good friend of mine, whom I got to know back in uni days. Our last meeting was about 5 months ago. At that time, I thought it will simply be a means to rekindle our waning friendship, especially since we have met for close to a year (if my memory serves me well). Disappointed, however I was. Turned out that it was merely a meeting to sell me something. Not that I'm opposed to it; my justification was since we have not met and chatted for a year, it just is not something that I (and just about us all normal folks) will anticipate under such context.
The same thing happened again today. I was much better prepared this time around and somehow successfully predicted his objectives. I know consciously that I somehow fear the idea of a friend wanting to form a business partnership of some sorts or wish to invite me into some kind of deal to make money.
A prominent businessman once said that he will never invite his good friends into a business. A nugget of wisdom. I could not fully grasp his way of thinking when I first know of this - I was just a college student then. As my horizon widens, I slowly arrive at the opinion that Where monetary issue and interest are involved, a friendship can easily turn sour, however solid it might have been in the past. My brother has undergone a similar predicament. Being closed to him, I know quite a fair amount of details about the friction that exists between him and his friends. That partly explains my fear and admittedly some kind of resentment whenever this issue is touched.
On the fear issue, that was just the attachment of my part that friendship ought to be a bed of roses. That was simply an unrealistic projection. Conflicts do arise every now and then. Deal with it and move on!
I told mom about what I have been through today. Like all mother wanting the best for their children, she gave me a piece of advice in proverbial Hokkien which translates as "if the roots of a tree are strong, it can be fearless in the face of strong wind". Get your principles right and you shall be able to avoid getting unnecessarily influenced by others, my son.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Relationship
In the past few weeks, my thoughts were predominantly occupied by the relationship issue. It was largely of the romantic department for I still remain unattached presently. Several moments of paradox and irony surface at interval. At one time I realise intuitively that this is not a compatible relationship; at another I make a decision (in my head only, not heart - which explains why sometimes decision made does not come to fruition or is not executed at all in the first place) that there is always an exception to the rule; that certain incompatibilities will be overcome by similarties. And by love - after all, they say love is the most powerful thing.
Compatibility issue has been a subject close to my heart, largely because I have previously had a glimpse into Chinese astrology and Western astrology. And because I have witnessed some relationships that work - by that I mean there is a spark, there is a sort of I-get-what-you-mean and you-know-that-I-get-it attitude between two people, despite that fact that there are individual differences in points of view. In short, there is chemistry or harmony between elements.
And I'm interested in this spark. Why opt for elements that don't have much interactions (think chemical interactions) when you can opt for spark, I thought.
As of yesterday, my decision has moved from head to my heart and finally come to the resolution that the relationship I intend to take to a new level should be best left at the base of the mountain.
Resolved. Relieved.
Upon waking up this morning, I suddenly have the realisation that in just about every type of relationship, there is one single ingredient that must be present in order to make THE difference - and rightly 80% of the difference. 20/80 rule!
Perhaps it is the power of the citrine crystal (which I wore last night before turning in) that brings about the expression of the thoughts buried deep in my subconscious into words. Citrine is able to "give concentration ability", I was informed.
So here is the secret ingredient for each type of relationships:
Spouse - loyal
Parents - filial
Siblings - helpful
Friends - helpful
Business partners - trustworthy
Colleagues - trustworthy
Teachers - grateful
Self - acceptance
Higher self/god - believe
Much unexpected is relationship with self. I am unaware that each person has a relationship with himself or herself until I read about it in one blogpost several years ago. Pretty much enlightening?
Compatibility issue has been a subject close to my heart, largely because I have previously had a glimpse into Chinese astrology and Western astrology. And because I have witnessed some relationships that work - by that I mean there is a spark, there is a sort of I-get-what-you-mean and you-know-that-I-get-it attitude between two people, despite that fact that there are individual differences in points of view. In short, there is chemistry or harmony between elements.
And I'm interested in this spark. Why opt for elements that don't have much interactions (think chemical interactions) when you can opt for spark, I thought.
As of yesterday, my decision has moved from head to my heart and finally come to the resolution that the relationship I intend to take to a new level should be best left at the base of the mountain.
Resolved. Relieved.
Upon waking up this morning, I suddenly have the realisation that in just about every type of relationship, there is one single ingredient that must be present in order to make THE difference - and rightly 80% of the difference. 20/80 rule!
Perhaps it is the power of the citrine crystal (which I wore last night before turning in) that brings about the expression of the thoughts buried deep in my subconscious into words. Citrine is able to "give concentration ability", I was informed.
So here is the secret ingredient for each type of relationships:
Spouse - loyal
Parents - filial
Siblings - helpful
Friends - helpful
Business partners - trustworthy
Colleagues - trustworthy
Teachers - grateful
Self - acceptance
Higher self/god - believe
Much unexpected is relationship with self. I am unaware that each person has a relationship with himself or herself until I read about it in one blogpost several years ago. Pretty much enlightening?
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Joy
This week I seem to get a little nostalgic.
I attributed such in part to the music that I listened to and in part to my good memory of past events, things and people. More so to those whom I care about a lot. Such memories are etched deeply in my mind.
A few days ago, I played a CD which I bought back when I was in my senior high school days. My subconscious mind unlocked many of the memories which I can still remember vividly. These were particularly from those days when I was in Form 5 - of the hard work I put in my academic work and of the joy of knowing that I had forged genuine friendship - ahh, pure bliss!
Consequently, I tend to cherish familial bond and friendship even more now. Knowing very well that these are what truly matter to our heart, despite our occassional relentless pursuit of other things which bring temporary satisfaction.
To all events in the past - I give thanks because you help me grow more as a person.
To all people which I have had a connection - I care for you even though we are distance apart or we have not talked to each other for quite some time.
I attributed such in part to the music that I listened to and in part to my good memory of past events, things and people. More so to those whom I care about a lot. Such memories are etched deeply in my mind.
A few days ago, I played a CD which I bought back when I was in my senior high school days. My subconscious mind unlocked many of the memories which I can still remember vividly. These were particularly from those days when I was in Form 5 - of the hard work I put in my academic work and of the joy of knowing that I had forged genuine friendship - ahh, pure bliss!
Consequently, I tend to cherish familial bond and friendship even more now. Knowing very well that these are what truly matter to our heart, despite our occassional relentless pursuit of other things which bring temporary satisfaction.
To all events in the past - I give thanks because you help me grow more as a person.
To all people which I have had a connection - I care for you even though we are distance apart or we have not talked to each other for quite some time.
Friday, October 14, 2011
GE session
Tomorrow morning I will be heading for a session on insurance at Great Eastern Mall. A session to attract people into the insurance-selling business, even though I was informed that that will be a session where one will be introduced to the insurance industry and GE position in the industry. A lot of things in life are well packaged, more so in business!
I am not particularly enthusiastic about the upcoming affair. But I do look forward to understand more about the insurance industry. At the same time to have a good gauge whether I want to jump on the bandwagon of insurance selling; if so, will it be GE; if so, will it be with the center and the people that I am going work with.
I'm especially picky about this. For I know any forms of partnership that seek to last for the long term need to be established on the grouund of mutual respect coupled with a sense of maturity and rationality in all dealings between each party. As much as profit and potential monetary reward ($) are foremost, I will without an iota of hesitance proceed to cast aside anything else if this is not met in the first place.
Let's see how it goes!
I am not particularly enthusiastic about the upcoming affair. But I do look forward to understand more about the insurance industry. At the same time to have a good gauge whether I want to jump on the bandwagon of insurance selling; if so, will it be GE; if so, will it be with the center and the people that I am going work with.
I'm especially picky about this. For I know any forms of partnership that seek to last for the long term need to be established on the grouund of mutual respect coupled with a sense of maturity and rationality in all dealings between each party. As much as profit and potential monetary reward ($) are foremost, I will without an iota of hesitance proceed to cast aside anything else if this is not met in the first place.
Let's see how it goes!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Taking it upon myself
As I drove back from work a while ago, something hit me in my mind and made me feel all the more resonated. Sometimes people used to tell you certains things, dispense certain advice, share certain experience; but it is not until time when circumstance is right that we begin to truly understand its meaning. And that's when we are resonated. Epiphany.
Epiphany I had was that I take it upon myself all results that ensue. For this, it means that I'm proactively carrying responsibility for the results that I want and need not be nudged unnecessarily by other people.
As I blog about this, I can't help but to write about something that started to bother me a couple of days ago. I would like to think that this probably comes about as a result of having the said epiphany.
I am actually at the crossroad.
Ironically, I am already close to a year in the workforce. Presumably, crossroad is a word that should occupies much of a fresh graduate's thought all the time. Foremost in their mind is the decision as to which job to choose. That is certainly not my case of course.
I was actually presented with an opportunity! No, I am not at the crossroad. For me, if I am at the crossroad, the decision ahead would be something that is related to the path that I have crossed. All other things will be considered bridges that sidetrack me towards a mountain I don't want to climb, a sea I don't want to swim in.
Correction: I am actually beside a bridge on the path that I walk.
The moment a decision is made that is when the destiny is shaped, so say Anthony Robbin. And indeed it is true.
I take it upon myself for every decision that I make. For this I need to be aware of the bridges that mislead me down the path that I do not want to walk. To continuously stay true to my heart what I want and at the same time not be lurued by the many million distractions out there. Integrity.
Epiphany I had was that I take it upon myself all results that ensue. For this, it means that I'm proactively carrying responsibility for the results that I want and need not be nudged unnecessarily by other people.
As I blog about this, I can't help but to write about something that started to bother me a couple of days ago. I would like to think that this probably comes about as a result of having the said epiphany.
I am actually at the crossroad.
Ironically, I am already close to a year in the workforce. Presumably, crossroad is a word that should occupies much of a fresh graduate's thought all the time. Foremost in their mind is the decision as to which job to choose. That is certainly not my case of course.
I was actually presented with an opportunity! No, I am not at the crossroad. For me, if I am at the crossroad, the decision ahead would be something that is related to the path that I have crossed. All other things will be considered bridges that sidetrack me towards a mountain I don't want to climb, a sea I don't want to swim in.
Correction: I am actually beside a bridge on the path that I walk.
The moment a decision is made that is when the destiny is shaped, so say Anthony Robbin. And indeed it is true.
I take it upon myself for every decision that I make. For this I need to be aware of the bridges that mislead me down the path that I do not want to walk. To continuously stay true to my heart what I want and at the same time not be lurued by the many million distractions out there. Integrity.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
New habit
It is the first day of the tenth month of the eleventh year in the twenty-first century!
All of a sudden I feel a tinge of positive emotion to write even at this hour as I would have usually turned in at this time. This must be the after effect of reading one of my favourite blogs - The Personal Excellence Blog by Celestine Chua. It was the blog that I first read while I was in my third year of degree study. It brings back a certain amount of joy, pride and freedom. These because those were the days where I was just a student whose responsibility is to study and earn good grades, which I usually did and often met my own expectation. Sandwiched among these positive emotions are, admittedly, a sense of insecurity and fear that I carry with myself. These because those were the days where lecture rooms look like a competitive ground for me where everyone are expected to strive to be better and better. A sudden drop in performance will somehow bring a slap in my face that I was just not good enough. But that was because I was just trying to get validation from others, I thought.
Then came Celestine Chua, the writer behind the blog whose passion to help others lead a life of excellence make me feel so in awe. It was at this time where I started to meditate after reading one of her posts on the benefits of meditation. After being in the workforce for more than a year, I find myself getting a little disintegrated and naturally, departing from what my ideal self is like. More and more, I feel like I am not who I was and not heading towards my best self. By this I mean along with the change that I have gone through, I had at the same time evolve into a different person, not one I aspire to but more to one where society expects to see. Not that I'm lamenting that society's views are distorting and not representative of the best that everyone can live up to (even though sometimes they can be), but I'm just expressing the thought that one should never look outward for who we want to be, but rather inward.
For this I want to revisit my old habit of meditating, which I have put on halt for more than a year. To bring about a calmer, grounded, loving, peaceful me with much clarity in thoughts.
And to eventually get connected to my true and best self!!!
All of a sudden I feel a tinge of positive emotion to write even at this hour as I would have usually turned in at this time. This must be the after effect of reading one of my favourite blogs - The Personal Excellence Blog by Celestine Chua. It was the blog that I first read while I was in my third year of degree study. It brings back a certain amount of joy, pride and freedom. These because those were the days where I was just a student whose responsibility is to study and earn good grades, which I usually did and often met my own expectation. Sandwiched among these positive emotions are, admittedly, a sense of insecurity and fear that I carry with myself. These because those were the days where lecture rooms look like a competitive ground for me where everyone are expected to strive to be better and better. A sudden drop in performance will somehow bring a slap in my face that I was just not good enough. But that was because I was just trying to get validation from others, I thought.
Then came Celestine Chua, the writer behind the blog whose passion to help others lead a life of excellence make me feel so in awe. It was at this time where I started to meditate after reading one of her posts on the benefits of meditation. After being in the workforce for more than a year, I find myself getting a little disintegrated and naturally, departing from what my ideal self is like. More and more, I feel like I am not who I was and not heading towards my best self. By this I mean along with the change that I have gone through, I had at the same time evolve into a different person, not one I aspire to but more to one where society expects to see. Not that I'm lamenting that society's views are distorting and not representative of the best that everyone can live up to (even though sometimes they can be), but I'm just expressing the thought that one should never look outward for who we want to be, but rather inward.
For this I want to revisit my old habit of meditating, which I have put on halt for more than a year. To bring about a calmer, grounded, loving, peaceful me with much clarity in thoughts.
And to eventually get connected to my true and best self!!!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Old folks
Chatting with elderly people make me realise that what is important to them are 2 things:
1) A pair of listening ears
2) A loving heart that cares
Everything else just does not matters.
My thoughts after visiting an old folks home at Bukit Robson today.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Good fortune
I stumbled on one website this afternoon. Read up on one article that is very inspiring. I was instantly reminded of the book that I read a few years back. A book that explains about human destiny, not from a feng shui or Chinese fortune telling perspective, but rather on how destiny is charted by oneself through every single deed, i.e not bounded by external factors but entirely controlled by oneself.
Here's an excerpt of the article I mentioned. The source is Clear Harmony.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In China's several thousand years of history, "Do good deeds to accumulate virtue" is a traditional code of conduct that has been valued until today.
In Shang Shu (also known as the Book of History), the author wrote: "Only virtue can move the heavens." In Han Shu (also called, History of the Early Han Dynasty): "Those who do good deeds secretly will be rewarded by heaven." Therefore, people taught their children not to do anything bad, but to do good deeds as much as they possible. Lesson One in how to be a human is to "plant a good seed, harvest a good fruit." In the Qing Dynasty, the children's book, Poems of Elementary School, stated, "Accumulating virtue leads to good fortune; dishonest conduct only makes your life more miserable."
Fortune, longevity, safety and all kinds of other good things are all based on virtue. This principle has been validated over and over by numerous people throughout history. Therefore, the ancient sages and ancestors not only taught their children to believe that "good deeds bring good rewards," they also repeatedly told their children how important it is to do good deeds and accumulate virtue.
Here's an excerpt of the article I mentioned. The source is Clear Harmony.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In China's several thousand years of history, "Do good deeds to accumulate virtue" is a traditional code of conduct that has been valued until today.
In Shang Shu (also known as the Book of History), the author wrote: "Only virtue can move the heavens." In Han Shu (also called, History of the Early Han Dynasty): "Those who do good deeds secretly will be rewarded by heaven." Therefore, people taught their children not to do anything bad, but to do good deeds as much as they possible. Lesson One in how to be a human is to "plant a good seed, harvest a good fruit." In the Qing Dynasty, the children's book, Poems of Elementary School, stated, "Accumulating virtue leads to good fortune; dishonest conduct only makes your life more miserable."
Fortune, longevity, safety and all kinds of other good things are all based on virtue. This principle has been validated over and over by numerous people throughout history. Therefore, the ancient sages and ancestors not only taught their children to believe that "good deeds bring good rewards," they also repeatedly told their children how important it is to do good deeds and accumulate virtue.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Sacrifice
Looking at my previous post and my current post title, I seem to have the inclination to sound philosophical and to preach about life. Certainly not so, I always like to share what is presently in my heart (if I'm in the mood and have time to spare) by writing it out loud. Certainly not to be Aristotle-ish or Benjamin-Franklin-ised, even though I do relish some private moments of reading about philosophy.
Trap. I find it a trap. Booby trap.
Like a mouse being lured by the smell and taste of a piece of cheese on a booby trap. Maybe even a certain Tom waiting nearby!
For me, not knowing the sacrifice that we will make in the course of pursuing something is tantamount to letting oneself to fall into a booby trap slowly. And when the end is achieved, mixed feelings of accomplishment and emptiness may be felt if the foresight of the things that we sacrifice along the way is not realised beforehand.
Trap. I find it a trap. Booby trap.
Like a mouse being lured by the smell and taste of a piece of cheese on a booby trap. Maybe even a certain Tom waiting nearby!
For me, not knowing the sacrifice that we will make in the course of pursuing something is tantamount to letting oneself to fall into a booby trap slowly. And when the end is achieved, mixed feelings of accomplishment and emptiness may be felt if the foresight of the things that we sacrifice along the way is not realised beforehand.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Perfectionism
Something happened today that got me to be reminded of my perfectionism tendency.
I know everyone makes mistakes every now and then. But I used to beat myself up whenever I step on some sh*t (!), even though I know very well that "good judgement comes with experience, but experience usually comes with bad judgement".
That makes me feel a sense of relief.
If I were to trace it back, I presume that probably stems from my school days - days when I always aim to score well. Not scoring well will make me think like there is a scratch on a piece of great art. Not that I am thinking that striving to be good academically is not a worthy endeavour, it certainly is - because that shows we make effort to unleash our best potential.
And that is it - making that effort is already something to take pride in. Perfectionsim is just being attached to results.
My solution to handle this issue? Ask myself truthfully in the heart whether I have given my best shot, whether what I have done is right, whether it is full of love and does not hurt others (and myself). If so, everything else just does not matter!
I know everyone makes mistakes every now and then. But I used to beat myself up whenever I step on some sh*t (!), even though I know very well that "good judgement comes with experience, but experience usually comes with bad judgement".
That makes me feel a sense of relief.
If I were to trace it back, I presume that probably stems from my school days - days when I always aim to score well. Not scoring well will make me think like there is a scratch on a piece of great art. Not that I am thinking that striving to be good academically is not a worthy endeavour, it certainly is - because that shows we make effort to unleash our best potential.
And that is it - making that effort is already something to take pride in. Perfectionsim is just being attached to results.
My solution to handle this issue? Ask myself truthfully in the heart whether I have given my best shot, whether what I have done is right, whether it is full of love and does not hurt others (and myself). If so, everything else just does not matter!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Real Estate Negotiator Course
With two collleagues, we went for a Real Estate Negotiator Course today at the Malaysian Institute of Estate Agent located at 32 Square.
It was a two-day course, introducing participants to some of the fundamentals in real estate business and some laws related to its practice. Session related to law made me feel slightly sleepy, but thanks to the presenter's wit and eloquence (a lawyer who owns a firm), I was able to make myself concentrate. Somehow, I got the thinking that lawyers are generally first-class speakers and first-class thinkers. I find inspirations from the ways they speak and think - that it is not just important to have strategic thinking and some good ideas, equally importantly is to be able to verbalise them in a powerful manner; plus, getting critical with what we say and think.
Let's see how tomorrow's lecture goes.
Let's see how things go too.
I think I have found something that I enjoy doing.
"It's tangible, it's solid, it's beautiful., from my standpoint, and I just love real estate." Donald Trump's quote seems to strike a chord with me.
It was a two-day course, introducing participants to some of the fundamentals in real estate business and some laws related to its practice. Session related to law made me feel slightly sleepy, but thanks to the presenter's wit and eloquence (a lawyer who owns a firm), I was able to make myself concentrate. Somehow, I got the thinking that lawyers are generally first-class speakers and first-class thinkers. I find inspirations from the ways they speak and think - that it is not just important to have strategic thinking and some good ideas, equally importantly is to be able to verbalise them in a powerful manner; plus, getting critical with what we say and think.
Let's see how tomorrow's lecture goes.
Let's see how things go too.
I think I have found something that I enjoy doing.
"It's tangible, it's solid, it's beautiful., from my standpoint, and I just love real estate." Donald Trump's quote seems to strike a chord with me.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Hello MIM Toastmaster
I joined Malaysian Institute of Management (MIM) Toastmaster at 9.30 am today. Notwithstanding the fact that I slept less than 4 hours on that day; my job requires occasianal associations and a little bit of partying with fellow mortgage consultants from several banks. I brought myself to bed on 3am. Not that I'm especially proud of this "feat", I have always wanted to allow the body to rest on time.
But I'm especially proud of my determination to join Toastmaster club. Searching for MIM place took me quite some time. With just a rough sketching of the route to that place (thanks to Google map), I was able to make it there even though I was late.
There was quite an international flavour in the meeting. With club members hailing from several places from the world (eg. Liverpool, Zimbabwe) and some equipped with a reasonably sound management mind (I presume), this is a Toastmaster club unlike any others. Mrs President even had the courage to claim that t is THE Toastmaster club in KL; another club member told me it is one of the top Toastmaster clubs in Malaysia.
Whew.
Let's see how things unfold.
But I'm especially proud of my determination to join Toastmaster club. Searching for MIM place took me quite some time. With just a rough sketching of the route to that place (thanks to Google map), I was able to make it there even though I was late.
There was quite an international flavour in the meeting. With club members hailing from several places from the world (eg. Liverpool, Zimbabwe) and some equipped with a reasonably sound management mind (I presume), this is a Toastmaster club unlike any others. Mrs President even had the courage to claim that t is THE Toastmaster club in KL; another club member told me it is one of the top Toastmaster clubs in Malaysia.
Whew.
Let's see how things unfold.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Writing revisited
I'm listening to Anata Ga Iru Kara (piano version), the theme song of Detective Conan at this wee hour while feeling a surge of strong emotion running though my veins. It was a very peaceful mood - the sort that is filled with much love.
Coupled with this emotion, I decided to make a "comeback" on my writing journey after making a halt for over a year. I previously blogged with the pure motivation of just enjoying it - basically just sharing some of my thoughts and some interesting moments in life. Sharing is always a big virtue!!!
With this new blog, I will continue to write about all things - lessons that I have learnt, people that I have stumbled, moments that define who I am, struggles, dreams, passions, basically all things that come to mind and of which I just want to blurt them out. I am reminded that such motivation, if not guarded well, can turn into narcissim. So hey..be sure that you write purely with much care and love for the sake of sharing with others so that all of us can learn and grow in this wonderful journey of life.
Just a way of reminding myself. You guys be my witness. :D
Coupled with this emotion, I decided to make a "comeback" on my writing journey after making a halt for over a year. I previously blogged with the pure motivation of just enjoying it - basically just sharing some of my thoughts and some interesting moments in life. Sharing is always a big virtue!!!
With this new blog, I will continue to write about all things - lessons that I have learnt, people that I have stumbled, moments that define who I am, struggles, dreams, passions, basically all things that come to mind and of which I just want to blurt them out. I am reminded that such motivation, if not guarded well, can turn into narcissim. So hey..be sure that you write purely with much care and love for the sake of sharing with others so that all of us can learn and grow in this wonderful journey of life.
Just a way of reminding myself. You guys be my witness. :D
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